felineblu said: I'm trying to understand the alternate jilling off diagram. I'm not sure mine is curling enough or if I'm pressing down in the right place or not. It doesn't want to curl back like that.
There’s a lot of different ways to do it, and it might not work for everyone because everybody’s anatomy is different. There’s really no “right” way apart from what feels good and comfortable for you :) The most important thing is to get things “in place” before it gets hard, otherwise you have to do extra work to make it softer again. What works for some people, if it does get hard, is to gently push it downward from the tip and just keep going until it softens a bit. If all else fails, experiment and find your own way. Hope that helps!
(question is re: this post — NSFW)
Re: An Alternate Masturbation Technique for Trans Women
Good information to spread around. Funnily enough, I started masturbating in a similar fashion before I even knew what the word meant. It wasn’t till guys started talking about masturbation amongst what they thought was a group of just guys that I even reflected on it being unusual and started policing my self pleasure into what was considered “normal”.
I kind of did, too. I didn’t use this exact technique when I was younger, but I did do something that was more akin to rubbing the clit than what boys do with their anatomy. Over time I changed it to try to be more “normal”, around the same time I forced myself to pee standing up and not wipe with TP. That was especially awkward, because I have a condition that makes peeing standing up pretty messy. Then I felt even more like a freak because I couldn’t even fake being normal. Bad times all around. So glad I’m over that and back to doing what feels right, and what actually works!
[content: sex-negativity, masturbation, dysphoria, vague allusions to child abuse]
teasing apart what feelings are caused by dysphoria and what feelings are caused by the sexual abuse can be really tricky. i used to masturbate all the time when i was younger. i felt ashamed and gross afterward each time. after i began the recovery process, i assumed those feelings originated in the abuse. my abusers taught me that sex was wrong (despite their wanting it from me) and that i was wrong for wanting it. they projected all their moral failings onto me and made me believe i was horrible like they were.
those teachings definitely played a role, but after making huge strides in recovery the dirty feelings still remained. nothing i tried could affect them. when a feeling is that persistent, and nothing affects it, i assume there must be a different root than the one i’m working on. i put my efforts elsewhere and hoped something would eventually click.
a few months later, i discovered tricks for feeling less dysphoric while masturbating. if you follow my blog you know the diagram i made. there is more to it than that, though. i reposition things where they’re supposed to be, and i do everything i can to realign the sensations so they feel how they’re supposed to. i cover myself up with a blanket and use guided visualization. i imagine how things are supposed to be, and keep at it until it triggers a feeling in my brain that things are just right. when it works, my body suddenly makes sense and things feel good. the result has been the most satisfying orgasms of my life.
in the past, any orgasm was typically infused with physical and emotional pain. the physical pain came from me clenching up down there, both from old defense mechanisms against the abuse and because of how upsetting my body is. but when my body feels right down there now, the tension eases. my body opens up, and my orgasms are pain-free.
the feelings of disgust disappear, too. it seems a majority of my negative feelings around sex have to do with dysphoria. my body feels deformed, and that is what makes me feel disgusting during sex. its actually a relief to know that not every issue i have with sex comes from my abuse history.
(Porn) I Have a Clip on The Woman’s POV
Porn: Don’t Cum
Bet ya can’t not cum!
[TW: Sexuality, mild talk of abuse history, flashbacks]
I just had an amazing and confusing orgasm. It felt… inverted, somehow. The muscles were inverted. The action was inverted. Let me explain.