Female Problems

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Female Problems

A few days later I saw Natalia slouched by the cash register, a somber look on her face. I overheard her talking to her mom. Something about possible ovarian cysts. I felt bad for her. I thought to myself, she could use some perspective from an older, wiser woman such as myself. I sat on the stool next to her and summoned my Knowing Mother look.

I said to her, “I know this is a difficult situation. But it could be worse. Look at it this way: You could have a cyst on your ovary–OR–you know, a dick.”

As far as female problems go, that’s top of the list. Top ten at least. Imagine it. A concerned mom calls her daughter:

“What did the doctor say? Do you have polycystic ovarian syndrome?”

“No, but it turns out I have a dick!”

The horror.

I don’t mean to compare suffering. That’s unfair and lacks compassion. But once Natalia regained the ability to speak, she proclaimed, “YOU WIN!”

Excerpt from Bite: Bittersweet Portions from a Trans Female Troublemaker!, available as a free download. Donations graciously accepted.